28 Weeks

So yeah, everyone at work seems to think I've grown overnight. I don't know if I've really gotten that much bigger recently, or if it's because I stopped bringing in my lap blanket. (They finally turned off the air conditioning in the building.)

Went to the mall last week and bought some maternity clothes - I only had 1 pair of long pants, and no sweaters that fit me, so that was fun. Can someone tell me why the waistbands of maternity pants are always navy blue? This really bothers me. Because if I'm wearing a shirt that doesn't correspond with navy, and some of the waistband peeks out, I can't just pass it off as an undershirt. But your only choices are navy blue and now (I think this is new) nude. The idea behind the nude waistband is that if some of it shows, it just looks like your skin. Which is just dandy, as long as you're white. Wasn't there an issue with the crayons a while back? And the band-aids? This just seems to me like a lawsuit waiting to happen. (I bought em anyway. Because, well, I really hate the navy blue ones. And I am white, after all.)

These pants come with specific instructions on how to put them on. Really? Can it really be that confusing? If I were raised by wolves, maybe I would need these instructions. But if I were raised by wolves, I probably wouldn't be at the mall shopping at Motherhood Maternity.

When you walk into this store, the staff cheerfully says "Welcome to Motherhood!" It's a little play on words, see. It bugged the crap out of me. I don't know why. They were very nice, attentive ladies and they were only doing their job. Although I was glad when someone showed up who needed to be measured for a bra, because that meant they stopped following me around. I considered buying a bra but the whole getting-felt-up-by-a-stranger-at-the-mall thing has never been appealing to me. And they would have insisted. That's just how attentive they were.

Tomorrow my cable gets hooked up. It took me two days of talking to various people at Time Warner Cable to convince them to sell me cable. They kept insisting that they were not the service provider in my area. All the other big companies insisted that they were, plus I had physical proof. ("Look, you guys have a van parked outside my building RIGHT NOW. Here, talk to Charlie.")

So if you don't hear from me for a few days, I've passed out under the influence of too many episodes of "A Baby Story".