10 weeks

I decided I should start a pregnancy blog. Partly so people who want to be updated can be (it's exhausting to call or text everyone individually), but mostly for me. If all goes well, it will be so I can remember all the little joys. If not, well, it will serve as a reminder of why not to do this again. I hear people tend to forget either way.

Went on my first official doctor's appointment last week. All seemed fine - doc noticed a wheeze when he listened to my lungs but I reminded him that I had been smoking until recently. Heard and saw the heartbeat on an ultra-sound....amazing. The doctor couldn't find the heartbeat on the doppler, and I was really worried...but it turns out the baby was just hiding. My due date is February 4th - 2 days before my birthday.

I'm impatiently awaiting summer here in Clevo. I'm so tired of being cold. And it will be winter again in about five minutes so I'm starting to get ticked off. Ugh.

Really emotional this week. Kind of feeling anti-social, which sucks because my mom is coming to visit this week and I really am excited... Having a hard time dealing with Matt. With everything that has happened it's hard for me to trust anything he says as sincere. I feel like he always has an ulterior motive.

On the other hand, I'm tired of explaining to people why I still have him around. It boils down to this; I don't want to do this alone. And he is willing to be there and do the stupid shit that I really can't count on anyone else for. Need a quick back rub?? Sure. Pickles at 2am?? No problem. I'm not going to call friends, even dear ones, to come and do those things for me. Even if they would.

I can feel things really start to move around in my abdomen now. Not the baby of course, just the shifting around of my organs. It's not exactly comfortable. I am pretty sure I'm going to start showing any minute.

Oh no! Maternity clothes!